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April-'17 News

Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter

A BELARUS BRIDE

APRIL 2017 NEWSLETTER
ARCHIVE
Belarus Bride Russian Belarus Women Matchmaking Newsletter
Ye Who Enter These Gates Without A Sense Of Humor, Abandon All Hope.

Remember:

"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching."

Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter



SATURDAY, APRIL 1, 2017.

Well,
Sonofabitch.

Here It's Friday Afternoon.
I'm Publishing Tomorrow's Newsletter,
Just A Tad Early.
Since Saturday Is April 1.

My Apologies.

Our USA Tax Filing Is 
Coming In A Couple Weeks.

So, We Share A Tax Joke:
--------

Yesterday I got my Tax Return "Returned"

I was trying to get a jump on doing my taxes this year,
however, the IRS sent my Tax Return back!!

I guess it was because of my response to the line,
which said: "List All Dependents"

So, I replied:

12 million illegal immigrants.
3 million crack heads.
42 million unemployable people on food stamps.
2 million people in over 243 prisons and,
535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate.

Apparently, this was NOT acceptable.

So I sent it back with a question
"Did I forget someone?"
--------
HEY!
HAVE A DAMN FINE WEEKEND!



TUESDAY, APRIL 4, 2017.

Belarus Bride Newsletter
As It Turns Out,
Our Announcement About The New Site Being Completed,
Was A Teenie Bit Premature. Had Some Link Problems, 
Which We Believe Have All Been Fixed.

If You Run Across A Page Link That Doesn't Work,
Please Let Us Know.

We Need A Joke:
-----

Terrorism High Alert Causing Me Problems at the Grocery Store.

When I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries,
the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this security rubbish,
I did just as she had instructed.

After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided,
I found out that she was referring to how I should position my credit card.
 
Nonetheless, I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions a little clearer for seniors.
------
HEY! HAVE A DAMN FINE DAY!




THURSDAY, APRIL 6, 2017.

 We Have Some Great Pics,
From One Of Our Engaged Couples.
How About These Beautiful Photos,
From Around Prague!
THANKS GUYS!
Hey! Have A Great Day!



FRIDAY, APRIL 7, 2017.

Our Member & Good Friend Jim,
Goes To Vitebsk To Be With His Lady!
Have A Great Trip Jim!

We Got Snow, All Over The Place.
Spring In Ohio.
We Need A Joke:
-----
It's winter in Wisconsin*
And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 52 below! 
Oh, how I love Wisconsin
When the snow's up to your butt; 
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose is frozen shut. 
Yes, the weather here is wonderful, 
You may think I'm a fool.
I could never leave Wisconsin, 
Cause I'm frozen to the stool.
-----

*Substitute "Ohio" For "Wisconsin."

HEY! Have A Great Day,
AND:
HAVE A DAMN FINE WEEKEND!



MONDAY AFTERNOON,
APRIL 10, 2017.
Belarus Bride Russian Women Matchmaking
Here It Is, Monday Already.
Our Snow Melted.
We Need A Joke,
To Help Us Get Thru The Afternoon.
Here We Go:
-----
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated.
All the waitresses are gorgeous.
A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, What would you like, sir?

He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, A quickie.

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.
After she regains her composure she returns and asks again,
What would you like, sir?

Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers,
a quickie, please.

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding SMACK! and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, Um, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'.
-----
Hey!
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!



TUESDAY, APRIL 11, 2017.

One Of Our Couples:
And Our Dear Friends,
Got Their Approval!
Congrats Guys!
Belarus Bride Newsletter
Hey!
Have A Wonderful Day!




WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12, 2017.

We Had Our Good Friend & Member Chris,
Here For A Visit Yesterday.
Chris Will Be Traveling,
Soon, To Vitebsk.

Good To See You Chris!

Let's Do A Couple Funnies:
-----
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said....Disneyland LEFT.
They started crying and turned around and went home.
-----
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
-----

HEY!
Have A Nice Day!



THURSDAY, APRIL 13, 2017.
Belarus Brides Russian Women Newsletter
Welcome Adam To Our Membership!
Adam Lives In Alabama, Beautiful Area,
Great Place To Live.
Especially If You're A Golfer.
Way To Go Bud!

So,
WELCOME ADAM!
Nina & I Are Looking Forward,
To Working With You!

Hey!
HAVE A GREAT DAY!



FRIDAY, APRIL 14, 2017

We Wish Everyone A Wonderful Easter!

Belarus Bride Russian Women Newsletter


MONDAY, APRIL 17, 2017.
Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter
Got A Nice Morning, Here In Akron, Ohio.

We've Been Working On Our Free Matchmaking App.
We Have A New Member Discount, On Our Membership.
We Also Send Push Notices Whenever We Add New Female Members.

GOOGLE PLAY/ANDROID ONLY.





HAVE A GREAT DAY!



WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19, 2017.
Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter

Nice Morning, Here In Akron Ohio.
Hump-Day.
We Need A Joke:
------
The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for agents Friday:
They can no longer get drunk, procure hookers or go to strip bars.
The rules say that from now on, if agents feel compelled to engage
in such behavior, they can run for public office like everyone else.
------
Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!





FRIDAY, APRIL 21, 2017.
Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter
Hey! It's Friday!
We Need A Joke:
Plus:
Mass Quantities Of Coffee.
-----
The Colonoscopy 
Being nervous, and embarrassed about my upcoming colonoscopy on a recommendation, I decided to have it done while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful nurses are allegedly more gentle and accommodating.
 
As I lay naked on my side on the table,
the gorgeous nurse began my procedure.
 
"Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection," the nurse told me.
 
"I haven't got an erection," I replied.
 
"No, but I have," replied the nurse. 

Don't get a colonoscopy in San Francisco!!!
-----
YIKES!

Hey!
Have A Damn Fine Day.
And..

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!


MONDAY, APRIL 24, 2017.
Belarus Bride Matchmaking
We Talk About Our Friend, Tommy The Train,
Every Once In A While.
Tommy Was Nice Enough To Pose For Us.
For Our Newsletter.

You Guys,
Who Have Read Thru Our Profiles,
 Already Know Tommy.

Nice Guy. Totally.

Hey! Have A Great Day!


TUESDAY, APRIL 25, 2017.

Our Good Friend & Member Dave,
Went To The Javits Center In New York City,
To See The Car Show.
Thanks For The Great Photos Dave!

Dave Has An Awesome 1970 Cuda,
Seriously Beautiful Car.

Dave Will Be Traveling To
Vitebsk Soon!

Thanks Again For The Photos Dave!

Hey!
Have A Damn Fine Day!



FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 2017.

We Have A Nice Photo From Our Member Dave.
This Is His Awesome 1970 Cuda!
Belarus Bride Russian Women Matchmaking Newsletter
When We Said Awesome,
We Weren't Kidding!
Dave Spent A Number Of Years,
Restoring This Beauty.
1970 Cuda, Original 383,
All Numbers Matching.
Way To Go Dave!
We Love These Mopars.
Thanks For Sharing!

HEY!
Have A Great Day.
And..
Have An Awesome Weekend!

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