Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter
A BELARUS BRIDE
AUGUST 2017 NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE
Ye Who Enter These Gates Without A Sense Of Humor, Abandon All Hope.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching."
We Have An Oldie..But We Like The Funnie:
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine
restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and were holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away,
suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the
table - but the man stared straight ahead. The waitress watched as the
woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque, and worried that it
might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began
by saying to the man "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
"The man calmly looked up at her and said,
"No, she didn't. She just walked in."
Have Yourself A Damn Fine Day!
THURSDAY AFTERNOON, AUGUST 3, 2017.
We Have Something New: It's Funny.
Members: Go To Our Members Only Section.
Want To Let Members See This First.
We'll Publish A Page In A Week Or Two.
Have A Damn Fine Afternoon.
We Have News:
Our Dear Friends, Darin & Jenna,
Got Married Yesterday!
CONGRATS DARIN & JENNA!
Please Send Photos Guys!
Have A Wonderful Day!
Have A Wonderful Weekend!
SUNDAY EVENING, AUGUST 6, 2017.
We Have An Update Posted On The Members Only Site.
HAVE A WONDERFUL EVENING GUYS!
Hope Everyone Had A Nice Weekend!
Our Good Friend Greg:
Sent This Funny.
LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?
Why, a lexophile of course!
1. How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
2. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
3. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
4. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
5. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes
6. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
7. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
8. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
9. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
10. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
11. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
12. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
13. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
14. When chemists die, they barium.
15. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
16. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
17. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
18. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
19. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
20. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
21. Broken pencils are pointless.
22. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
23. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
24. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
25. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
26. Velcro - what a rip off!
27. Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last.
HEY! HAVE A GREAT DAY!
We Have A Wedding Today!
Another Of Our Couples,
We Wish You Guys All The Best!
HAVE A WONDERFUL WEDDING DAY!
TUESDAY AFTERNOON, AUGUST 8, 2017.
Back To Let Members Know:
New Post On Members Only Site:
Posted Our Opinion About The "Politically Incorrect"
Google Engineer Who Got Fired Today.
According To Google:
He Violated Google's "Ethics" Rules.
Google Has Ethics?
He Made The Mistake Of Voicing His Opinion:
About Female Employees At Google.
Made The News Yesterday.
I Hope It's OK With Google:
If I Voice My Opinion.
Hey! Have A Great Day!
WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON, AUGUST 9, 2017.
Members: Posted An Article On The Members Only Site.
Our Member & Good Friend Greg..
Sent This..For Our Enjoyment.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's
to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs
of me wife !"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
toast of the night !
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
prize for the Best toast of The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled
leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at The Pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit
surprised myself. You know, he's only been in
there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep"
Hey! Have A Damn Fine Evening!
Our Good Bud And Member Brett,
Will Be Here This Weekend.
Visiting With Us Before He Hits The Plane Next Week For Vitebsk.
To Be With His Lady.
Looking Forward To Your Visit Brett!
Greg Sent Us Another Funny.
To Help Bring-In The Weekend.
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a
female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who
Needs a laugh and remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak!!!
Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day..
HAVE A DAMN FINE WEEKEND!
MONDAY AFTERNOON, AUGUST 14, 2017.
We're Welcoming Our New Member Doug:
To Our Membership This Afternoon.
Doug Lives In Philly. He's A Very Nice Guy.
We Already Have His Lady..
Interested In Him!
GET READY FOR SOME REAL EXCITEMENT!
Hey! Have A Wonderful Day!
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16, 2017.
MEMBERS: We Posted More Info About "Googoyle"
On The Members Only Site.
Also: More Stupidity From GoFundMe. (Apple)
Our Good Bud & Member Greg..
Sent This Funny:
Why a woman should think before she speaks.
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back..Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word..he knew better.
Hey! Have A God-Damn Fine Day!
THURSDAY, AUGUST 17, 2017.
We Have Another Funny..From Our Bud Greg.
Why a woman should think before she speaks. Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back..Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, I think I like playing with men's balls.
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, ' No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands it was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said No!... I kept thinking Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident?
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled:
SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An older couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
Hey! Have A Wonderful Day!
Our Good Friend & Member Brett..
Hits The Plane For Vitebsk Tomorrow!
Have A Wonderful Trip Brett..
Give Your Special Lady..
A Big Hug From Us!
For All The Rest Of Us..
HAVE A GREAT DAY..
HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!
Just Posted More "Catch-22" Stuff From:
GoFundMe On The Members Only Site.
GoFundMe: Owned By Apple.
Another Great American Corporation: Serving American Lemmings.
MONDAY NIGHT, AUGUST 21, 2017.
Nina Took These Eclipse Photos Using Her I-Phone.
Out Our Front Door.
Nice Job Sweetheart!
The Planet, Bottom Right, Uranus.
No Jokes. Please.
Hope You Had A Nice Eclipse!
Hey! Have A Great Evening!
FRIDAY, AUGUST 25, 2017
We Wish All Our Friends & Members..
A Safe Weekend.
Hurricane Harvey Will Hit The Texas Coast Tonight.
Get Outta There If You're Too Close!
HAVE A SAFE WEEKEND!
MONDAY, AUGUST 28, 2017.
We Hope Everyone Had A Nice Weekend.
Our Hearts Go Out..
To All The People..
Having A Terrible Time..
With Hurricane Harvey.
Our Good Friend & Member Eric..
Posted His Thoughts In The Members Only Section.
Hey! Have A Nice Day!
THURSDAY, AUGUST 31, 2017.
Last Day Of August.
Labor Day In The USA..
Monday, September 4.
Coming Up Soon.
HAVE A DAMN FINE DAY!