JANUARY '16 NEWS

Belarus Bride Newsletter Archive

Belarus Bride Matchmaking

BELARUS BRIDE MATCHMAKING

JANUARY 2016 NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE

Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter

Ye....Who Enter These Gates Without A Sense Of Humor....Abandon All Hope....

Remember:

"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching."

Belarus Women Marriage


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FRIDAY,
JANUARY 1, 2016.

Winter.... 

We Surrender....

After A Tank Battle....

Can You Believe..First Day..2016!


MONDAY,
JANUARY 4, 2016.

Monday....

Our Bud Greg Sent Us A Joke....

To Ease Our Pain....Thanks Greg!

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Subject: Tax Return

The IRS has returned the Tax Return to a man in New Jersey after he

apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.

In response to the question, "Do you have anyone dependent on you?"

the man wrote: "9.5 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crack

heads, 3.4 million unemployable scroungers, 80,000 criminals in over

85 prisons plus 650 idiots in Washington.

The IRS stated that the answer he gave was unacceptable!

The man responded back, "Who did I leave out?"

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Have A Fine Day!


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WEDNESDAY,
JANUARY 6, 2016.

Today happens to be Russian Orthodox Christmas Eve....

Tomorrow Is Russian Orthodox Christmas!

We Wish Everyone A Wonderful Traditional Russian Orthodox Christmas!

MERRY RUSSIAN ORTHODOX CHRISTMAS!
Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter



THURSDAY,
JANUARY 7, 2016.

MERRY RUSSIAN ORTHODOX CHRISTMAS!

We Wish Everyone A Wonderful:
Traditional Russian Orthodox Christmas!



FRIDAY, JANUARY 8, 2016.

Hey! Friday!

Greg Sent Us A Good Funny....

Think About It....

Thanks Greg!

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Most of our generation...

50+ was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways. 

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

I just finished cleaning." 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My father taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why." 

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 

7. My father taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" 

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.

---------------

How True!

Hey..Have A Great Friday..
And..

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!
Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter Archive



WEDNESDAY EVENING, JANUARY 13, 2016.

Vitebsk Got Clobbered With Snow....

They Used Soldiers To Clean The Streets.

Olga Sent Us These Photos. Thanks Olga!

Our Good Friend & Member Eric Sent Us This Excellent Joke.

Thanks Eric!

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A short fella came into the barbershop looking very sad and depressed.

The barber knew things with his wife were not good and asked him about it.

The short guy says "Well things didn't go like I planned at all"

"When the wife's little dog disappears, I gotta find it right away"

"So I thought if I left she would pay attention to me like that too"

"I left for 3 whole days and never heard a word from her."

"Then I waited six days, and finally on the night of the 10 th evening I came back home"

"I don't think that she missed me though"

The barber asked him why he thought that?

The fella said "I came in the house after she went to sleep and tried to slide quietly into bed with her."

She sat up and yelled angrily " Dammit, you lay still!

For the last nine nights you been nice and quiet!"

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Hey! Have A Fine Evening!


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MONDAY, JANUARY 18, 2016.

Stupid-Cold This Morning..
Greg Sent Us A Funny....Thanks Bud!

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FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:

1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA...... FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

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Hey!
Have A Damn Fine Day!

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THURSDAY, JANUARY 21, 2016.

Photo Blast..From The Past..
Want Nice Memories?

You Need To Make Them.

Valentine's Day Is Coming....

Let Nina Know What You Would Like To Do....

For Your Special Lady.

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!
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MONDAY, JANUARY 25, 2016.

Our Good Friends Bill & Valya Sent Us A Funny....

To Help Us Start The Week.

Thanks Guys!

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Hello Greg and Nina,

While celebrating the MLK holiday, we took some time to revisit your newsletter archives. We came across this summary of the Schitt family tree. We personally know the Schitt's and wish to pass along some recent family news.

Perhaps there are other ABB members who are also friends of the Schitt's. We hope they will share their news as well.

Best Regards,

Bill, Valya and Arthur)
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THURSDAY, JANUARY 28, 2016.

Our Olga....

The Person Who Takes Care Of Our Guys While They're In Vitebsk....

Was In Moscow For A Couple Days....

Sent Us Some Great Photos....

Thanks Olga!
Sweet Photos. Thanks Again Olga!

Hey! Have A Wonderful Day!
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FRIDAY, JANUARY 29, 2016.

Our Good Bud Greg Sent Us A Joke....

To Bring In The Weekend.

Thanks Greg!

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The Last Will..

Don Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.

His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.

He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in

place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: My son, "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."

My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the East end."

My son, "Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."

"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river."

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Don slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all that property".

Sarah replies,

“Property ? …. The asshole had a paper route!"

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Have A Great Day....And....

HAVE A FINE WEEKEND!

Belarus Bride Matchmaking Newsletter

BELARUS BRIDE MATCHMAKING NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE


BELARUS BRIDE MATCHMAKING NEWSLETTER

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