OCTOBER 2016 NEWS

A BELARUS BRIDE

OCTOBER 2016 NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE

Russian Women For Marriage Newsletter

Ye..Who Enter These Gates Without A Sense Of Humor..Abandon All Hope.

Remember:

"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching."

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THURSDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2016.

Been Just A Bit Busy..Oct. 6 Already..
Our Good Bud Greg Sent Us Another Joke...Thanks Bud!

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 When You Are Over Seventy

    I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. 

    This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kind’a cute.         You gotta phone number?”

    I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?”

    She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.

    I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”

    Cost me 6 stitches, but, when you’re over seventy..who cares?

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Needed A Good Joke This Morning.

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!
Russian Women Marriage Newsletter



FRIDAY AFTERNOON, OCTOBER 7, 2016.

We Have A Couple More Cool Funnies From Greg..

Thanks Bud!

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    I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night. 

    She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”

     I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

    Cost me a fat lip, but..When you’re over seventy..who cares?

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    I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just     by feeling her breasts.

    “Really” she said, “Go on then..try.”

    After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, “Come on, what     day was I born?

      I said, “Yesterday.”

     Cost me a kick in the nuts, but..When you’re over seventy..who cares.
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Hey! Have a Damn Fine Evening..And..

HAVE A DAMN FINE WEEKEND!
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MONDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 10, 2016.

Crap..It's Monday..I Forgot To Publish This Morning.

Better Late Than Never..

What's That? You Want A Funny?

Our Bud Greg To The Rescue..Two Funnies.

Thanks Greg!
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   I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. 

  The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

   Cost me a bloody nose, but.. When you’re over seventy..who cares?

  

   I went to the pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, “Good legs.”

   The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”

    I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”

    Cost me 6 more stitches, but.. When you’re over seventy..who cares?
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Hey! Have A Damn Fine Evening!
Belarus Brides Matchmaking



TUESDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2016.

Beautiful Morning Here In Akron Ohio..

We Want To Welcome Don To Our Membership!

Nice Guy..Nice Sense Of Humor..From Arizona..

Looking Forward To Getting To Know You Don..

WELCOME DON!
Belarus Brides



FRIDAY, OCTOBER 14, 2016.

 We Like NHRA Drag Racing.

You Probably Guessed..

We Have A Few More Funnies..Thanks Greg!

To Bring In The Weekend.
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12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
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HAVE A DAMN FINE WEEKEND!
Belarus Brides



TUESDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2016.

Know Who He Is?

If So..You Win A Cookie..

Had A Damn Fine Weekend..

Hope You Did Too.

We Have Our Member Coming Back From Belarus..

Way To Go Bud!

We Have Another On His Way Over.

Have The Best Trip Ever!

You Guys Rock!

That's What We Know This Morning..

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!
Belarus Brides



FRIDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2016.

Hot-Damn..Cool Race Cars..

We Need A Funny...Thanks Greg!

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14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

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HAVE A DAMN FINE WEEKEND!

Belarus Brides Matchmaking



TUESDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2016

We Have A Good Funny..

From Our Friend & Member Bob.

Thanks Bob!

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 While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator was tragically (tragic – are you kidding?) hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

‘Welcome to heaven,’ says St. Peter. ‘Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. As we seldom see a politician around these parts, we’re not sure what to do with you.’

‘No problem, just let me in,’ says the Senator.

‘Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.’

‘Really? I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,’ says the Senator.

‘I’m sorry, but we have our rules.’

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds him- self in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while at the expense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. ‘Now it’s time to visit heaven.’

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

‘Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.’

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: ‘Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.’

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

‘I don’t understand,’ stammers the Senator. ‘Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?’

The devil smiles at him and says, ‘Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.’

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 Soon..We'll Have Our American Erection..

At Least Those God-Damn Political Commercials Will Be Gone.

Things Are Looking Up.

Hey! Have A Wonderful Day!
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Belarus Brides



FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2016.

HALLOWEEN WEEKEND!

Have Fun..

With Your Kids/Grand kids..

Have A Wonderful Halloween!

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MONDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2016.

We Have Two Wedding Anniversaries!

Michael & Irina..

Congrats Guys!

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Joe & Nina..

Congrats Guys!
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